Have you ever put something off because you haven't quite thought it through?
That happens to me a lot.
For instance, I wanted to invest in a camera - somewhat expensive but not prohibitively so. I did a lot of research and almost made up my mind on which brand and model to buy, and then... nothing.
Why? Because I had not quite figured out why I needed the camera in the first place. And this prevented me from going ahead and clicking BUY, even when juicy festive offers on all the major online stores were tempting me. I even successfully resisted a flash offer that offered an even more substantial saving!
So my reluctance to go ahead, and take action without thinking it through, stopped me from buying a camera that I was fairly sure I wanted. To be honest, I'm not a photography enthusiast. I've dabbled a bit when I was younger, and then, like many other interests, have largely ignored it.
You might say, I love the idea of being a photographer, but don't quite enjoy the doing part.
So, all things considered, failing to act on a decision I made after quite some research, might not be a bad thing. It saved me some money and also the hassle of creating space in a closet that is spilling over with stuff that I no longer use, but can't decide to give away - because I haven't thought things through.
You may consider this a form of procrastination, and I wouldn't really disagree. While I can always (mostly?) justify my inaction in hindsight, I'm not really sure it's a good thing. It is often seen as resistance to change.
Change, especially the more complex sort (and most meaningful change IS complex) can't always be thought through - not in its entirety. There are too many variables at play. Multiple dependencies and contingent factors. There is not much information available, and very little visibility beyond the first step or two. And the only way you can get more information - so that you can think, evaluate and decide how to move forward - is by moving forward.
And that makes me uncomfortable. My desire to think things through makes me want to see the entire path before I take my first step. The only way I can get over this paralysis is by coming up with a plan - even if I know it is very unlikely to play out even remotely as I envisioned it.
That makes me envy friends and colleagues who are not similarly constrained. They have far greater tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty. They are able to decide and move ahead with very little information.
My mentor says I should stop craving certainty. His mantra is "Action Before Clarity".
He should know. He has faced far greater uncertainty, and made a number of successful pivots, including one very recently - when the COVID19 pandemic substantially disrupted his main source of revenue.
He says I should stop overthinking and just take the first step - things will only become clearer as I move forward.
I don't disagree.
I want to follow his advice.
But I can't - because, you see, I haven't thought things through.