Stories play an important part in our life. We make sense through stories. When we say we get someone, it means we know their life story - the underlying narrative that gives meaning, unity, and purpose to their life.
It is the same when it comes to knowing ourselves. We make sense of our lives by constructing and reconstructing narratives that link our past to our present, and to the future we envision. And if we change our vision for the future, we inevitably have to retell the story of our past, so that it still makes sense.
This explains why we find change so difficult. We've bought into our own life story and are not quite willing to change it - it seems dishonest, and makes us feel inauthentic. And yet, change cannot happen unless we are able to integrate it with what we believe to be unquestionably true about ourselves. So how do we give ourselves permission to change our narrative, so that we can choose a different path than the one we were originally on?
For many, the turning point is an event. We have all experienced, or know someone who has experienced, a life-changing event or episode in their life. However, according to Herminia Ibarra [1], it is not really the event that triggers change - it is just a pattern interrupt that brings into focus changes in our thinking that have been happening silently, often unawares, in our minds for a long time. The event effectively provokes an insight, and perhaps more importantly, provides an opportunity to recraft our life narrative. This latter aspect of life changing events is important because insight alone does not motivate us to change - we need a reinvention story - a retelling of our past that convincingly flows into the future we have imagined for ourselves.
Notes
1. Herminia Ibarra, Working Identities: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career (Boston, Harvard Business School Press, 2003)