How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people are everywhere.
At work. In your neighbourhood. Even online.
There is no way to avoid toxic people altogether, so you have to learn how to prevent them from getting under your skin.
Here are 5 ways you may find useful
Take a deep breath and count to 10
My grandma was no neuroscientist - but she knew that taking a deep breath and counting silently to 10 almost always worked to calm things down. You were right grandma! Studies show that a deep breath can alter neurochemistry sufficiently to prevent emotional hijack.
Don't React, Respond.
We are wired to react to each other's emotions, and this is the basis of emotional contagion. However, it is possible to train yourself to stop reacting mindlessly, and to respond thoughtfully - even in the face of grave provocation.
Take a View from the Balcony
Sometimes it is useful to zoom out from the immediate situation and look at the larger context of the individual or the issue, and known behaviour patterns. This can provide clues to what triggered them, as well as potential solutions.
Look Within
There is no question that some people are innately toxic. However, it is useful to look within yourself and see if you somehow enable and encourage their toxicity. You didn't start the fire, but is there some way you are fuelling the flames?
Be Curious
If you can avoid reacting, and instead use your curiosity to ask questions, even something as simple as "Could you please tell me what happened?", you might be able to shift the focus away from the emotion to the issue underlying it.
You may not always be able to avoid interacting with toxic people, but there are ways in which you can reduce the impact of their toxicity on yourself.